He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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