So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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