yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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