I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just threw up on my dentist
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
