Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
