therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
