i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dicks are not precious.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
