i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
