you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
