Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
