my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
