i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
