the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
