WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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