What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
