come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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