I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
