i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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