I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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