omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
