Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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