Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
