i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
