I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
