why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
