She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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