I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
