its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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