u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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