I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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