This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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