My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
