I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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