Jerry, you need to find god
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
