haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize