am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
