Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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