My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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