just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
