I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
