Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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