You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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