i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
