id be glad to
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
