Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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