I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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