it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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