I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just found a bag of teeth...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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