pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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