so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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