can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize