ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
