Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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