I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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