If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
