This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pants are for mortals
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
