I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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