I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
