Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
