woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize