forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
