The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
