i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
