and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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