So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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