Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
