So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
