I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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