He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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