He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
